I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
