you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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