I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize