If i come over, it means nothing
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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