yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
