I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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