i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
