i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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