we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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