david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
