i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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