How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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