I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
