shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
