Buhtt sex?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
