So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
