I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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