I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
