You're my little dorito
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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