My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
