yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
