I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
