I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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