everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
