i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
