Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
