I got chris browned last night
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
