How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
