Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
