Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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