i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
