none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
