I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
