just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
