4 words: hood of his car
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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