NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
