i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
