I just saw a hot homeless man
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you never un-have a 4some
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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