you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
