Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
