His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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