This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
