lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I think people are normalizing furries
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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