he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
