after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
