Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
