i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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