Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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