careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
