Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
