she was so not down for the gang bang
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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